Things Change
by kellyann88
Summary: Topanga wants to go to Yale.


We now come to a place a year after Amy talked to Topanga and Corey about her feeling of them almost eloping. Since then, this has weighed heavily in the back of Topanga's mind.  
  
They are sophomores in college and have classes bothering them to no end. After freshmen year and seeing that college is really about, Topanga, being the amazing women she is, realizes how important these years are and has an entirely new respect for education. She hasn't had the nerve to bring up all these new values for herself to anyone accept her mother. She only wants the best for her and values education, which she hopes will result in happiness. She encourages her to talk to Corey and bring up Yale.  
  
Sarah Lawrence, Topanga's mother, was a woman in her early forties, with dark blond hair and velvety brown eyes full of angst. Her soft and curvaceous build belonged to a woman years younger than she, with a full bosom and round hips that swung just right. It was safe to say she was where Topanga got her figure. Also she is where Topanga got all her morals and standards from, so to a young women she is to be respected.   
  
"Topanga dear you know how I feel about education, and you know you're very gifted," said Sarah. There is then an awkward silence which lasts way too long.  
  
"Yes Mom, I know how you feel about my grades and such," says Topanga with trepidation. Soon enough, she started feeling angry at her for her parents' messy divorce. Then it dawns on her that her parents haven't been there for her when her schoolwork got harder or when she had academic struggles and accomplishments. She starts to realize how full of shit her mom is and just doesn't want to hear her crap. She begins to become uptight and upset. Topanga's voice begins to change to a more serious and angry sound.  
  
Sarah notices this and a huge lump forms in her throat. "Honey I am sorry for not being there and supporting you when you needed me," she says, feeling extremely guilty. "You have to realize though that after you ran away, things with your father and I just went for the worst and, as painful as it is, YES we got a divorce. Being away from us was the best thing possible." Sarah feels as if this huge weight has been lifted and some of her sadness seems to dissipate.   
  
This sensitive subject sours the conversation and they soon say there goodbyes.  
  
"Goodbye mom", says Topanga feeling as if she didn't get what she fully wanted in this conversation. Even thought she knew this was reality, it still really hurt.  
  
"Goodbye honey, I love you so much", says Sarah. Still feelings guilty and knowing she hasn't done enough for her. Topanga and her mother don't talk until she goes to Yale.  
  
  
  
Topanga looks at this thing as a life and death situation. She weighs everything about leaving Corey and her friends and going to Yale. She tells herself that if she ever brings up Yale that she will have to go, because everything will just be weird around her and everyone. She doesn't want people to think she is big headed or anything or feel inferior to her. She has many sleepless nights over this, which makes Corey worry.  
  
One day Corey, Shawn, and Angela are just hanging out in the lounge just talking. They are really bored and have no idea what to do with themselves. The day just seems to drag on forever. There seems to be this funky tension and Angela brings this up.  
  
"Welcome class today everyone, we are going to be talking about American History today", in a voice which you could tell was old beyond its years yet experienced and loving what it does.  
  
"Hey Corey, what's up man!" says Shawn says energetically.  
  
"Yeah man, what's up? I have been talking to Topanga and things seem off with her. You Ok?" says Angela. She realizes the extent of her words and drops out of the conversation.  
  
Still Corey feels like he should use the opportunity to say what's on his mind. "Yeah guys I'm fine. You know Angela I have been noticing something wrong with Topanga too". "What it is on her mind is really personal or important", with every word he seems to be more and more soft and concerned. With this Angela decides to talk a little more.  
  
"If you want I will talk to her and see what's going on. You know it just may be a girl thing" says Angela hoping this is somewhat humor will reveal Corey. It does and Shawn notices this also.  
  
"Yeah man everything's going to be fine", showing him support. This makes him see his girlfriend in a new light.  
  
"Thanks guys I can always count on you", says Corey with a huge smile.  
  
Days pass without any help from Angela and being the emotional person Corey is he can't keep all these worries in. He thinks if he can talk to anyone it has to be Topanga. He brings this up with her and she starts to feel uncomfortable and avoids him.  
  
"What is happening to you? I know something has been bothering you, your not acting like yourself anymore" says Corey with all of his courage.  
  
Topanga is completely shocked and finds this disturbing. She then thinks for a long hard minute and finally understands what he is referring to. "I have no idea what you're talking about, why you would bring this up". Then slowly but sufficiently she starts to walk away from him, feeling incredibly ashamed of herself and depressed. She's feeling confused and is going through tremendous crossroads in her life.  
  
Then he whispers to himself when she is leaves in complete confrontation, "That is exactly what I'm talking about".  
  
That night Topanga has a nightmare. It was about her not being able to get a job she wants because of her decisions. All she remembers is that she is falling out of a building, possibly a library, trying to scream but can't. She feels like her life is around her and it's not enough so she has a panic attack and freezes in mid air. She wakes up and makes a lot noises. This wakes up Corey and she is forced to tell him, she figures to keep her sanity.  
  
  
  
"It's late Topanga what are you doing up", Corey says half awake and confused.  
  
"I just had this nightmare, which I rather not talk about", says Topanga frightened.  
  
Corey being the reasonable person he is, knows this means that something is bothering her, and it's hard to discuss. He becomes quiet and tries to figure a way for her to talk.  
  
There is a lot of tension now and they both can feel is, especially Topanga.  
  
"Corey I can't take it anymore, I have been thinking about going to Yale. I had this conversation with my mom and she just wants what is best for me, of course that includes being happy. Leaving you and all of our friends will just kill me. Then again possibly not having the most opportunities I could possibly have makes me go insane. What if in a year I want something bigger, something completely different? One of the best colleges in America like Yale could give me that. Plus I have to admit that a little over a year ago after we came back from almost eloping when you mother said that remark with me, it still bothers me. I don't think I could ever forget it. I'm so confused and don't know what I want for my future. That hurts me so much realizing that I could lose my entire life, especially you. I am so sorry for not letting you know this, but trust me I was only thinking of us. I knew things would never be the same if I told anyone this accept my mother."  
  
Realizing that he dealt with this in the past, finally realized that the confrontation was not over. Then feeling guilty and that he is holding her back from her full potential says, "Is this what you want?", unwilling knowing her damn well enough that she could never give him an answer without complete certainty or making both of them happy. "Because I will hate myself for forcing you to do something you can't live down. I would rather never see you then not be able to look you in the face because of all my guilt. I say this from the bottom of my heart I just want that's best for you." Then there is a very long period of silence.  
  
This silence is broken with Topanga saying, "How can you expect me to answer a question like that? Weren't you listening, I don't know what to do with my life. But I'll tell you something. I made a solemn vole to myself that if I told anything about this tremendous confrontation that I would pack my bags and go. No matter how painful that would be or what happens". By this point Topanga is huddled in a corner practically crying.  
  
Now Corey is wearing his heart on his sleeve and it's broken right now knowing that this girl has to go. "Well there you go, follow your mind not your heart and leave."   
  
Then he gets a fit of rage and says, "Now!. Topanga storms out of the rooms crying. The next morning Corey helps Topanga pack her stuff. Corey is so full of heart break that he doesn't have the energy to feel guilty but later on realizes the extent of the situation and breaks down. Shawn tried to help him out, and this is the story ends.  
  
"Your going to be fine man just let time take its course", says Shawn with hope in that everything between them will be fine.  
  
"I guess your right", says Corey with concern and doubt. Then he whispers to himself as soon as Shawn leaves, "Yeah right". 


End file.
